God, I hate women. Women and Matt.

Okay, so it’s me again bois. Let me just start out by saying I really hate Matt Mills. Like, I know we’ve been over this again and again, but that motherfucker is really REALLY pissing me off. Do you know what he did today? He made a fake myspace bulletin from a fake Frenchie myspace. What the fuck Matt? Do you think you’re clever because you write about me being gay and cuddling with Zach in college? It’s not like it even happened that often. Jesus! And I only slipped my finger in his butt when he was SLEEPING so he wouldn’t notice. No harm, no foul.

Anyway, the main reason I’m writing this is that I want to officially state my hatred for women. I’m not saying I’m gay now or anything. I’m just really tired of my mom sleeping around with my “friends” and always bossing me around like I’m a little kid. I’LL PUT AWAY MY DINOSAURS WHEN I’M GOOD AND READY, YOU TWAT! UGH!

Wall-E was good. I went and saw it with my dad. I did the whole penis-in-the-popcorn thing, but he wasn’t hungry and all I got for my trouble was a buttery weiner and bad-tasting popcorn. I’ll trick you into touching me again someday, dad. Just you wait. Maybe I’ll be like “April Fool’s! My dick is in your mouth!” when you wake up next April. Hmm. That’s not very subtle though.

Anyway, I heard Matt Mills is single now, which means Arielle is single now, which means I can hurt Matt. All I have to do is woo Arielle with my machismo. I’ve been doing crunches like woah for the past two days and I just bought the newest Richard Simmons “Sweatin’ to the Oldies” video. A couple more days of this and I think I’ve got a shot. Well, not really, but whatever. I’m still going to try.

Anyway, I’ve got to find a way to get in touch with Arielle, so I’m going to do some internet “research.” Bye cuties.

-S”F”W